You never seem to listen and you're always in a bind. Sometimes I think what you're missing is a kick in the behind. The answer to the problem is quite simple I have found. So excuse me while I drag you out and slap your ass around!
-"Broccoli" Rob Cittadino
 
Ya better watch out when deez wise guys come into your town. With their own brand of hard edge swing, they'll bim-bam blow you away. Hearing Rob sing is like being in the "big house" and having the warden tell you what to do. He should be charged with assault, because he slaps that bass like a red-headed step-child. To hear Rich play the drums is like hearing the great Buddy Rich play in a rock band... Good and loud!!! The guy is incredible behind the set. Timmy is a powerhouse on the guitar. His solos are great! By lookin' at this guy, who would have thought he would have a record for resisting arrest? Paulie is a virtuoso on the trumpet. His solos hit 'ya like a ton of bricks, much like when he hit that deer with his van (but that's another story). Bernhard is the godfather of sax players. When he plays "Speak Softly Love", images of a dead horse head in your bed come to mind. (For those of you who have never seen "The Godfather", don't even bother taking your head out of the sand because it's probably too late for ya anyhow!) And let's not forget Dave. He's definately one of the best t-bone players I know. Have him do his Melvis impression for ya. You'll laugh your ass off.

I saw the Bums twice on Febuary 5, 2000. They were playing at an outside Italian Festival in Ft. Myers, FL. They played an incredible 1 1/2 hour set. Seeing as though this was my first time seeing these guys, I didn't know what to expect. The funny thing is..... I still don't. You never know what to expect with this group. Their show is one of the most visual shows I've ever seen. They also have some of the most talented players around. After the show, they walked about 50 feet and went into Gotham Hall to play in the Cigar Bar. This time they played 2 sets. Of course, being inside a club in the middle of the night, the show was a little dirtier. This made it ever better than before (if you can believe that!) I especially enjoyed Rob's rendition of the Bb blues classic...."When I get out of the big house, I'm gonna punch that bitch in the face." I must say, this song deserves a Grammy.

The very nexy day, Febuary 6, 2000, I saw Swingerhead play at the Disney Institute. This was no ordinary Swingerhead gig. Three Swingerhead guys weren't able to make it to the gig (Tim, Dan, and Vernay), so some of the bums had to fill in (Rob, Bernhard, and Dave). There before me was the premiere of the "Swinger-Bums", or as Rich called them, "Sphincterhead". It was truly a rare event. Overall, (except for Rob not playing the descending bass line on "She Could Be A Spy") the show worked out great!

Well, I took a little trip to good ol' New York, New York. I met up with the guys and hung out at the studio. A couple of days later I went on the subway with Dave and Paulie to Brooklyn. The Bums were playing at the Ship's Mast. We all went to dinner at an awesome Italian place (go figure!). Then I went to Rob's place to kill some time. The guys didn't go on until about 11:30 because we were waiting for Rich to get back from his Tom Jones concert. They played two sets. They premiered a couple of new songs and I finally heard Timmy sing a love song. I was a splendid little melody called "I Love My Wife". Sorry to say, I can't post the words on this site because I try to keep it kinda clean.......... Ok fine. One line is "Nut Brown Asshole" (This has to be the only site on the net to have that line on a page.) I won't say anymore about it. Just request it.

Wanna see more pictures of deez guys? Go to my Dem Brooklyn Bums Page 2!!!!

Check out the Dem Brooklyn Bums website at www.brooklynbums.com. Tell 'em John sent ya!!!

 
 
THE BAND
Dem Brooklyn Bums
 
'Broccoli' Rob Cittadino
vocals, bass
 
Rich 'Dusty Chop Meat' Zukor
drums
 
Dave 'Canarsie Kid' Levitt
trombone
 
Paulie 'Potatas' Brandenburg
trumpet
 
Bernhard 'Gunther' Ullrich
sax
 
Timmy 'Pimmento' Clement
guitar
 
 
PICTURES
Just a buncha' wise guys.
 
Here I am with Broccoli Rob.
 
 
Here I am with my buddy Rich. (No pun intended.)
 
We three kings of Swinger-Bums are.
 
"He had one good reason in the chamber, and ten good reasons in the clip."
 
 
Rich does his rendition of the "Baseball Bat Boogie".
 
Isn't it funny? A german in a primarily Jewish band.
 
Here, Rob and Dusty rehearse in the studio.
 
"I wrote this song in 1982."
 
The Demolition Horns.
 
"Sphincterhead" plays at the Disney Institute.
 
 
DISCOGRAPHY
 
 
There Goes The Neighborhood
 
Step Up To The Plate
 
 
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